Building Bridges: How to Connect with Parents of At-Risk Students

When I started working at an alternative high school serving at-risk youth, I had more than my fair share of unpleasant phone calls with parents. Many were immediately on guard and bracing themselves for bad news when they realized it was a school staff member on the other end of the phone. “What did ‘so-and-so’ do now?,” assorted expletives, and “Click” were not uncommon responses.

While this was a bit jarring and discouraging at first, I quickly realized that a lot could be done to make these interactions much more pleasant and constructive for both parties. It made sense that many of the parents and family members of my students weren’t thrilled when they received a call from the school and wanted to terminate the communication as swiftly as possible.

Understanding parents’ position and thinking about how to smooth out relations was a necessary starting point for building bridges.

Where Is The Disconnect?

1. Rocky Past

Many parents of at-risk students have had more than their fair share of negative interactions with school staff. Calls about behavioral issues, low academic performance, and requests to “please come pick up your child” are all too familiar—and exhausting. Because of this, many parents learn to expect to hear from school staff only when things have gone wrong.

These calls can bring about a range of emotions from disappointment to embarrassment, frustration, and hopelessness. When their children fall short, parents may feel like they’re under scrutiny, which can lead to withdrawal from school engagement altogether.

2. You’re Calling Parents At Work

Low socioeconomic status is prevalent among at-risk students. At charter schools like the one I worked at, an average of 68% of students are economically disadvantaged, and the National Center for Educational Statistics reports over 10 million students in the U.S. attend high-poverty schools where more than 75% of students are eligible for free and reduced lunch.

A large number of parents of at-risk students are working-class. Receiving calls at work, or worse, being asked to leave work to pick up their child, can be especially stressful. Parent’s circumstances and ability to leave work or take calls during the work day vary. Keeping this in mind can help you navigate tough conversations with more empathy. Being sensitive can go a long way.

3. Lack of Trust in the System / No Point Person

Based on past experiences, some parents may feel that the education system doesn’t serve their child’s needs or that their input won’t make a difference, leading to disengagement. A study conducted by the Colorado Department of Education found that parents were more engaged and satisfied with their child’s school if they had a point person.

At my old school, each staff member was assigned an advisory group (usually 15-30 students). They were responsible for tracking the progress of the students in their advisory group and keeping in touch with their families. This setup made each student and family feel as if they had a person at the school who could address their questions and concerns. Teachers were given a class period during the day to make calls, send emails, and have one-on-one meetings with students. This not only increased student attendance and production but also made parents feel prioritized and that they had a direct line to a familiar and helpful person when they needed it.

How to Build Bridges

1. Build a Strong Foundation

Parents may feel judged or blamed for their children’s struggles, leading them to avoid interactions with the school out of fear of criticism. Shifting this dynamic and building a strong foundation of communication with parents and families from the get-go will pay dividends in the form of student success and smoother parent-school interactions. Family outreach at the beginning of the school year is a great opportunity to open lines of communication, relay expectations, and more. Trying to have at least one positive, clean-slate interaction with parents at the start of the year is a great place to start. The goal is for parents to feel they have allies rather than critics at their children’s school.

2. Clarity is Key

Some of my more uncomfortable calls were the result of a lack of clarity. Parents don’t like feeling in the dark or caught off guard by important information. Parents often cite timeliness and a lack of clarity as the biggest barriers to communication with their student’s school. It’s important to set clear expectations with parents and equip them with information about school procedures, policies, and events. Let them know when they’ll receive updates like progress reports, how behavioral issues are handled, and how they can get involved.

As overused as the saying is, knowledge really is power. The easier it is for parents to understand how things work, the better they can support their students and the school. Consider using simple, visual tools like infographics for school policies and procedures or magnets with contact info rather than handing parents piles of papers and packets. Consider sending dual-sided English/Spanish resources as well if this makes sense for your school’s demographic.

3. Give Parents Options

Everybody likes options. A brief survey at the start of the year can help identify preferences, such as whether parents prefer texts or phone calls for non-urgent communications. An increasing number of parents prefer text and email communication over phone calls or in-person meetings. Text-based modes of communication may be a better fit for family members whose first language isn’t English, as it removes the discomfort of strained communication over the phone, and texts can be translated. Identifying a mode of communication that is functional and convenient for parents can increase their engagement and responsiveness.

The survey can also ask if there is a second or third family member who can pick students up if they are unable to (get a permission slip signed for this and add a note to the student’s file). Lastly, the survey can inquire about any transportation challenges. One survey found that 20% of low-income families did not have a vehicle. Schools may explore ways to assist with bus passes or cycle-to-school schemes to increase attendance and ease the burden for struggling families.

4. Bring The Positivity

“We want to hear the good things you know. We don’t always want to hear the bad things.” -Parent Focus Group

Delivering bad news to parents is an inevitable part of a teacher’s job, but there are ways to make these interactions less uncomfortable. Striking a balance is key—throughout the school year, parents should hear just as much, if not more, positive feedback as they do negative.

Studies show that positive communication from schools can significantly improve student behavior and increase parental involvement. When bad news does need to be shared, it’s important to use non-judgmental language and avoid placing blame. Frame challenges as opportunities for joint problem-solving rather than placing responsibility solely on the parent. This can help create a more supportive and constructive conversation. This balanced approach builds trust and creates a less adversarial relationship between schools and parents.

5. Bridge the Gap

Relationships between schools and families need an invitation, common interests, and mutual respect to grow. In this case, the invitation may come in the form of community events and volunteer opportunities, the common interest is the student’s success, and mutual respect is built through cooperation and open communication.

Creating opportunities for schools and families to come together in less formal ways builds a sense of community and common ground. Schools can organize multicultural potlucks, holiday celebrations, or parent-led workshops and skill shares, where parents can showcase their expertise or share their traditions. These activities not only help parents feel more involved and valued but also enrich the school community by highlighting its diversity.

Resources

National Alliance for Public Charter Schools: An Overview of Charter School Alternative Education Campuses

One Size Does Not Fit All: Analyzing Different Approaches to Family-School Communication

Communicating With Parents 2.0: Strategies for Teachers, by Susan Graham-Clay

Colorado Department of Education: Expelled and At-Risk Student Services Program. Family Involvement in Schools: Engaging Parents of At-Risk Youth, February 2008