How to Establish Strong Relationship with Parents – 7 Insights from a Teacher

They say education is all about relationships. While I’m not quite sure who “they” is, I believe that is one of the most accurate statements in the history of education. After 43 years in education, I can confidently tell you that establishing positive relationships with those within your realm of influence is crucial. I saw excellent AND dreadful examples of this throughout my career, and I still see both as a member of the Board of Directors at a charter school.

It should be evident to all educators that good relationships with students are necessary. It is simply human nature to work hard for those who appreciate that hard work. However, have you ever thought how much easier your job might be if you were not a team of one? If you were, indeed, a team of three or four? I am speaking about adding parent (or parents) involvement in a team that already exists with teachers and students. I am talking about actively involving parents in their child’s education, helping parents stay aware of their child’s activities and progress as they move through the year, and building good relationships with parents. After all, teachers and parents share a goal.

“A teacher is one who makes himself progressively unnecessary.”
Thomas Carruthers

It’s a bit overwhelming to think about, isn’t it? But it is also glorious when your classroom is full of eagerly working and learning students, and you are simply watching them. Watching them! Not managing student behavior, feeding them knowledge, or coaxing them to finish assignments. Just watching as students help each other continue the quest for knowledge without adult intervention. Powerful.

I am sure some of you are questioning the wisdom of taking time to foster relationships with parents in addition to everything else you do. In the short run, it is true that the process takes valuable hours. In addition, there can be many other obstacles to establishing positive and productive parent-teacher communication. As found in a 2016 study, significant hurdles include a shortage of translation services, difficulties navigating the technology, and incompatible work schedules.

There are, however, solutions for all those problems. Perhaps you can find some answers in the ideas below.

1. Do a Home Visit Before School Starts

I have never done a home visit, but I wish I could go back and change that! The teachers at the school where I serve on the Board do this regularly at the beginning of the year, and they love it. Teachers at Promontory School of Expeditionary School in Perry, Utah, share their feelings about home visits.

Visiting my new 5th-grade students helped me immensely during the first few days of school because I already recognized them and knew a little bit about them. I believe it also made things a little easier for the students because I was a familiar face that they saw and knew, as opposed to one more “surprise.”
Julia Scott

Meeting with students’ parents has been instrumental in building meaningful relationships and establishing a collaborative approach to their learning journey. These interactions allow for open dialogue about students’ progress, strengths, and areas for growth, ensuring that we work together toward their success.
Glenna Peterson

2. Find the Family’s Preferred Method of Communication

There are so many options for school-to-home interaction these days! Do your kids’ parents prefer email, texting or chat? What is the best phone number to use? What is the best time of day to get hold of them? An ideal time to gather this information is on a “fill it here while you’re here” quick form at Back-to-School Night or during a home visit. If it is challenging to accommodate an in-person visit of some kind, create a quick online form for families.

3. Let Parents Get To Know You

Share information about you, too! I loved finding parents with similar interests to mine, and there are many parents I still consider friends. Cultivating the feeling of friendship and teamwork will make parents less reticent to contact you. And they love to know how passionate you are about educating their kids! I wrote the following after seeing a great movie in 2017.

“On Wednesday, February 8th, our crew has the opportunity to view a wonderful movie. Hidden Figures is the story of three African-American women who worked for NASA in the early sixties. I went to see it last weekend, and I was not even out of the theater before I had messaged my fellow teachers to say, ‘Let’s go! Our kids NEED to see this movie!’”

4. Be Sure the Communication is Two-Way

You will create allies if you approach parents as team members with valuable ideas.

Let parents know early in the year that you greatly value their input. They have a perspective you can’t have and years of experience with their child. You will create allies if you approach parents as team members with valuable ideas. Wouldn’t it be nice to know they would be there as such if there was a volatile situation?

5. Make Students Part of the Team

I can distinctly remember my 4th-grade parent conference. I nervously waited on the playground bench while my mom talked to my 4th-grade teacher, Mrs. Ernst. I wondered why I couldn’t be there. After all, they were talking about me! So, when I became a teacher, I changed it! From 1977 (or so) until 2017 (when I retired), I invited my students to come to their parent-teacher conferences. After some time, my conferences became “student-led.” What a fantastic experience for parents AND students to have their children explain what they were doing in school and their strengths and areas of concern!

6. Invite Parents to the the Classroom

Parents have many skills that kids will find interesting. And moms and dads will enjoy showing off in front of their kids.

During my years as a classroom teacher, I had parents teach us how to make sugar Easter eggs, demonstrate weaving, blast off model rockets, talk to us about being engineers, display and explain how to take stunning photographs and coach us in salsa-making. And that’s the shortlist!

7. Stay Positive

Many teachers strive to use the “The Magic Ratio” in their classrooms, which is five positive interactions to every one negative. This ratio is also recommended in marriages, friendships, and workplaces. Why not try it with the parents of your students, too?

I hope these ideas will help you forge strong relationships with parents this year and in the years ahead. Parents genuinely are our allies as we work together to become “progressively unnecessary.” I’ll sign off with a quote from Helen Keller that inspires me in many collaborative endeavors.